what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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