Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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