Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
