I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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