I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
