went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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