i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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