Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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