first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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