Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
