I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
