I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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