There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
