is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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