i will never coherently bang her
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
