winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
