I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
