so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
