He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
