She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
