Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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