My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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