I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize