it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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