I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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