We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
