I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
