I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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