come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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