I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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