I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
