I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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