The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
