why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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