bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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