Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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