I have demons in me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
