would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
