He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
