im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
