I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
