Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
