Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Even my vagina gasped.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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