i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
