it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
