Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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