so that wasnt chicken after all
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
