Whod you bang
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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