That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
