Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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