well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
