Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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