I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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