What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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