So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
try to milk me bitch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
