Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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