even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
