the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
